Flesh of Cow

So I've been to Davis and back. Justin and I are expecting to receive Lisa and Ben's firstborn as thanks for this extreme show of true friendship we endured. Nearly nine hours each way. A total of five busses and two trains. Smelly busses and trains. But I love trains.

We started off the trip on Wednesday. About 10am. Nervous and a wee bit paranoid, we checked and re-checked our bus schedule. Eventually, and with no difficulties, we got on the bus in Glendale and began toward Bakersfield. It was not unclean, but we weren't yet comfortable with this traveling-long-distances-outside-a-plane nonsense. The Amtrak was looking nicer and nicer in my mind.

Finally we caught our train and things were lookin' up. We were getting used to this travel nonsense. The train ride was a long and arduous one. Although it began in high spirits, one can only point at cows and say "Meat!" for a few hours before it gets old. Even cell phones lost their charm eventually.

Mostly I read and musiced. Jude the Obscure is a sad fellow indeed. I made a few calls and tousled with justin- gaining a few unfriendly glances from grumpy travellers.

Two more busses later, after passing "Louisiana Fried Chicken Chinese food" (I kid you not), we arrived in Davis. Maybe it was about 8 or 9pm. I'm not really sure. Whatever time it was, there was time enough for a quick tour of the campus! Lisa, her manwhore Bradford, and Benjamin picked us up for our first fun-filled night- at the soil museum. Yes kids, there is an informative display on soil for the good of the people. It is right next to the "Field Crops of America" and the Grass display.

Eventually we tore ourselves away from the hilarity to finally have a much needed meal. Well, after a brief tour of the "Death Star" of course. Crepesville was a resounding success. While we waited, Lisa got to speak to Chadwick awhile. Eventually the food did come and it was very good. Yet another reason I should learn to make crepes. They are lovely food while I'm fasting. Which is often.

I think we hung out in Ben's room after that. The days are starting to meld together in my head. There was all kinds of snazzy decor, Benjamin being of the interior decorating persuasion. There wasn't a lot to do yet, jj and I being in post-travel mode(see: mildly comatose, but awake enough for jj to check the UCLA site for the first of hundreds of times.) and Lisa deciding she was rather tired. Benjamin was aghast at our sleepiness.

Lisa had class the next day, rather early(or so she thought. It ended up cancelled... loser.) which left Justin and I to our own devices. We knew this was dangerous. Lisa had no idea who she was releasing onto the campus. Heh. By 1:30 (when we met Lisa in front of her Econ Class) we had mocked the musical guests, decided Davis was rather like a large Movie High School, found a little lost piece of North Carolina, stalked Ben's window, and conquered the Death Star. The Death Star is just this big concrete complexity of a building. There was a particular turret that some people had been trying to get to and couldn't- so naturally we tried and succeeded. After basking in the glory for awhile we proceeded to meet Lisa. Well, we tried to. The problem came when we tried to take the easy way out. Lazies that we are we got in the elevator. As the door closed Justin pointed out the elevator permit had expired in july of last year.

Haha, lovely and funny until we realized to doors were closed and we weren't moving. Not so funny anymore. We pressed all the buttons. Hit [Door Open] over and over again. Nothing. Finally we took a chance and pried the doors open ourselves. It really hadn't moved. Wasting no time, we lept out and ran away as if the elevator could follow and consume us again. Then we thought, let's take a picture! That would be fun! But it was not to be. We tried calling the elevator from a floor down and it didn't come. Then we heard some rumblings but still, the doors didn't open. We tried opening the doors manually again and were greeted as they slid away by the lift's exoskeleton. More yelling and running away. It was lovely fun. But we did have to go meet Lisa.

Since we had agreed to sit in on her microeconomics class with her, we invited Benjamin along for the ...fun. In the beginning it was entertaining. Doing a little crossword and listening about the "Big Damn Pie". But then it got ugly. Some fool sat in the foolishly empty chair- we were trapped! Suddenly the sit-in had become a trap-in and we felt stifled. Syllabuses(Syllabi?) were passed out, doodling commenced. The masses(read: me) became restless. Then Justin began taking notes. At that point everything was spiraling towards disaster as Justin tried to convince Lisa and I to Pay Attention. That was just too much. Benjamin and I broke loose and ran for the door. We were Free!

After our near-education experience, Benjamin gave me a quick tour. We saw the Silo(old bit of farm building that is now a ... Restaurant?), which was pretty interesting. But then again- I'm a sucker for antiques. Then the MU I think it was. Moo... Davis.... Cows... Meat.... yes, Alright. Then the inevitable happened. The Library!

It was huge and really pretty. It looked like my ideal house. Well inside at least. Huge staircases! Ballroom-esque expanses of floor! Lots of books! Sculpture! Books! Big lovely windows with room for laying, Whole walls of windows! Smooth, sunny rooms opening to huge airy enclosures. And there were books! And Benjamin wore my hat!

Eventually Benjamin and I met Lisa and Justin back in her room. We chillaxed a bit, trying to decide what to do. Naturally Justin and I had some time on the internet, since we are total addicts. Me moreso than him. He was more compulsive in his online-grade/schedule checking. Eventually there was Lunch at Lisa's DC and more walking around. Most of the trip was either walking around or eating. Not that that's a bad thing. Hopefully one evened out the other.

That night we went to Chipotle. Chipoodle. Chip-a-tople. This was one of many examples that show I am an utter failure at fast food. The quick decisions and limited choices are just too much for me. I get flustered and don't know what I'm doing. But I digress.

Evidentially my friends are a bunch of weaklings when it comes to spicy food. Utter softies. I was sitting there with my chips & hot salsa as they complained of burning mouths. Jj and Lisa were finding the medium salsa a bit much for them. And if that sounds bad, Benjamin was being conquered by the Mild. I felt smug and continued to offer my salsa.

That night we went to Borders. Everything was fine. We were looking at those maps that have cartoony landmarks all over. Somehow they decided that Monrovia is more important than Duarte, regardless of the presence of City of Hope. Not to mention the oddity of multitudes of Holiday Inns and other Hotels that seem to be regarded as cartoon-worthy landmarks by whoever made the maps. There seemed to be some wee bit of Bias there.

Leave it to us to turn an evening in a bookstore into a cackling fest(Lisa cackles!) of innuendo and general vulgarity. Well, not quite. The iced tea(and 6 packets of the best sugar ever) were starting to get to me when I pointed out the little seals at the north pole on the map. Well, it was downhill from there. "Are they humping?!" she exclaims. Unfortunately I was moving away to let a grouchy lady through, who didn't seem to appreciate Lisa's enthusiastic inquiry. Besides, I think it may have actually been a seal and a rock.

Thus ended any sanity of the evening. At least for Lisa and I.

We settled into the travel section and I found a really terrible book. It was the most amusing thing I've read in a long time though. Benjamin and Justin didn't stay with us long. They couldn't handle us. I think that our night after that is best summed up in list form. A list we made. Because we decided that we should record our obvious genius for posterity. So we wrote it all down on whatever receipts were handy and sent Benjamin to find out whether the Venus de Milo was Roman or Greek. Something about how the statues were built. Wooden pegs and such held one kind together. That's why they fall apart. Or so I've heard.

Here goes:

"Are they Humping?!" -- "You had that 'Sex in the Vatican' look on your face" -- "Is Brad tangy?" -- "Tufa too!" -- "Sierra buttes!" -- "Beer is fat men watching the superbowl, tangy fat men." -- "Spongebob is an evil little bastard." -- "She has an acne fetish." -- "'We're stupid. We're taking notes about our conversations. ' 'no! it means we're clever' 'write that too." -- "That's not funny." -- "[excerpt from the evil book]'They regard their amorous efforts as a service to society - giving the inhibited, pale northern girls a heady taste of sun-drenched virility and of tangy velvet nights by the sea.'" -- "Does that book remind you of Brad? Is that why you chose it?" -- "He's really hairy! But look at his eyebrows!" -- "'He has big feet' 'Is he a puppy, Does it get bigger?'" -- "It was talking to me, Lisa!" -- "'Where are the sex books?' 'I dunno, lets look for Ben, I can always count on him to find the Sex section." -- "Hey, He's right here! ... they're right here!' 'See? I told you we could count on Ben.'" -- "I almost had a funny comment... but not quite. Write it!" -- "Hold on, my knives are coming out."



And then we had to leave. They didn't get around to kicking us out but we drove people away from both Travel and Sex (at least the sections, if not the actual events.) before they closed. There was more walking around- Lisa and I trailing Justin and Benjamin like two giggling drunks. I'm sure they were ashamed to be seen with us. We talked of a pop-up Karma Sutra, "That store has a pop-up Karma Sutra. *naive gesticulations* They just... Pop Up!" and wandered in circles. We had to pee. As girls seem to do nowadays, we informed them and demanded to be led to a bathroom. Everything was closed so we ended up in Benjamin's dorm.

We peed and discovered that justin and benjamin were gone. Missing! boy-napped! We couldn't leave because other wise we couldn't get back in. Up the stairs- are ben/jj there? no. Down the stairs! Still, no boys. "Did they fall in?" - "If you're lost then you're supposed to stay where you are, right?" - "Maybe Ben learned a little something back at Borders and....yeah" Up stairs, Downstairs, sideways, all around... Back to Ben's room? There they are! The infamous Vince, Jeebus, and Adam were pleased to meet our acquaintance. At least at first. Lisa and I, still in a semi-stupor, leafed through Design Within Reach. A few times. Since I wasn't paying a lot of attention while coming off my high, I can't say much about that bit except that we were not the best company. Probably rather obnoxious actually.

Eventually we went to bed. Not terribly late, but it was a respectable 2am or so.

Then it was the day of the Chair. Justin and I each got a picture of us sitting on forbidden territory, Parisa's(Lisa's Roommate) Chair. Eventually she discovered this when jj and I were showing her pictures. We didn't think about her stumbling upon them. There had been many close calls. Justin was nearly found in the chair a couple times, as was Bradford. But then the Fish died. Actually it had died a day before she saw it. But no one wanted to tell her. Most likely it died because it was being fed crackers. Then she found our chair pix. But we didn't die. That was nice.

It was painful for everyone when Bradford and Justin and I tried to make Lisa decide where to eat. She managed to wriggle out of it(after a half hour of wriggling) when Parisa of the chair came back. We went to Chuck E. Cheese! Bradford loaded us(Lisa, jj, parisa, me) into the car and we drove through the abnormally vacant highways to Sacramento and Chuck's. It was Parisa's unbirthday so she got a spiffy hat and we watched the "show" where Chuck and his anamatronic buddies butchered beatles songs. As we waited for the pizza, Justin and I did some undercover work... and Bradford shuffled the cups so that the extra token was randomly distributed.

My favourite part was when justin got into the little car ride so i could take a picture. Of course I couldn't help but insert a coin while he wasn't looking. "Oh G~d! Someone help me! Oh my G~d! AAaarrghhh!" The second picture was a little more Justin-friendly.

It was a good excursion.

But apparently Chuck E. Cheese drains the life out of a person. We just weren't as young as we used to be. After a mass handwashing in the little guest bathroom(Chuck's is super filthy) JJ and Lisa and I piled onto her bed for a nap. 2 hours later we were back with the world. It took awhile, but we had a second wind. Justin and Lisa and I went out again. The unusually good C.E.C. pizza was awfully filling so we decided that Jamba was about all we had room for. I had a tangy raspberry, JJ had mango, and lisa had her strawberry. It was very colourful, and Raspberries are the best...

The grass in front of the stores was full of children. Mostly cute little toddlers. Some cute little parents playing with the cute little children. It was nice to watch, so we did for a good long while as everyone but me finished their smoothie.

Then it was on to Gap. The best store ever. I love their clothes. Sorry but I can't help but say it. We had a Fashion show and I found a few things I really liked. Unfortunately they are more expensive than they are awesome.

Lisa tried on just about every single article of clothing they had in the store. Skirts, dresses, shirts, and some crazy pink pants. We left before they got angry that we didn't buy anything. Especially since Lisa had cleaned out the racks and created all kinds of work for them. Justin was hungry so after more walking(there was a definite trend towards walking) he decided to eat at Jack in the Box. I approve of their Fish & Chips, since they provide Malt vinegar. Thought I'd mention that. It was then, about 2 hours later, that I finished the aforementioned Jamba Juice. It was still good! I swear...

Back to Lisa's room. We hung around a bit trying to decide whether we wanted to find a party or not. Justin passed and went with Ben to watch a movie and make their own fun, if you know what I mean. Lisa, Bradford, Bradford's friend Ali and I went to find a party. [At this point I had decided that the camera was annoying to tote everywhere, so no pix.] The 80s themed party was decided against, and we drove around Davis looking at frat buildings. Later we ditched the car and walked around to better determine the lame/not lameness of the parties. We walked up and down and passed lawns with couches and girls dressed in horrendous 80s clothing. We blew that popsicle stand and headed out to Abe's. Abe's is Denny's according to Bradford and Lisa, but they wouldn't explain what they meant. A decidedly dumb inside joke. Ali had never been so he and i were intrigued. Unfortunately it was closed and we were re-routed to a strange retro Burger King. It had a Jukebox without Bohemian Rhapsody so Lisa and I sung it ourselves then sat at a ginormous guitar-shaped table. Bradford and Ali ate and then we just hung out awhile. Ali heard the inevitable car crash story about me that Bradford had heard earlier, and told me I sounded like a mean person. He was awfully interesting although he tried to debunk the UK stereotypes in my head. I liked his hair. We talked some more and such, then dropped Ali off and went back to Lisa's. Bradford retired early, and Lisa and i were at a loss for what to do.

Naturally we went out to Reagan Main since there were people in her building's lounge and we avoid people. It had been arranged for the movie showing earlier, so we re-decorated. Chairs were everywhere, a line of them diagonally across the room. Some in groups, some facing nothing at all, others surrounded by bigger couches, and a few were arranged in a smiley face by the door. Our little Duarte tradition. Rearranging, that is.

She trounced me in some mind-bendingly absurd games of speed. Then I beat her in Go Fish before she even had a turn. Then she taught me poker (I get re-taught poker just about every year) and I lost a few times. At some point in or card playing Justin and Benjamin came to see our accomplishments. We played some blackjack pretty badly and then made some cardhouses. Benjamin mostly lounged... until Justin and I decided to steal his shoes. We discovered that they were much tighter than they used to be and Ben came off the couch along with the shoes. We dragged him off the couch and into the middle of the room when I let go, afraid of being kicked. Justin proceeded to drag him around the room and through chairs as Ben used his hands to walk and keep his back from some rug burns. Ben twisted free, and we fixed our interior decorations.

Around 3 am we went back to Lisa's and changed. Then more sitting around in nighties, Slumber-party style, before Ben left. It was our last night to sleep there on her floor, and we had to get up for the farmer's market by 10ish.

Ten o'clock came absurdly early. I took a long time before I got up the consciousness to shower and dress. I wasn't ready till past 11 o'clock I think.

The Farmer's Market was full of fruit and cheese. I wanted the dates badly and the hummus looked really good and the Asian pear samples were yummy. Too bad markets are always so expensive. Justin and I had to be back by 12:30 so Bradford (thank you awesome driving boy) could take us to the station. With limited time we went to Plutos. It was kindof like Souplantation meets Subway. I was once again a spectacular flop when it came to ordering. I decided it would be easiest to just get a salad. It was terrible to get a salad and have to turn down meat. *sigh* but I get to eat real food again soon. Easter is this Sunday! But I digress, when the salad-man asked me anything, I just pointed or said yes. It ended up good anyway, although it was not quite what I wanted. I had to shove it into a to-go box myself because I hadn't known how to ask for to-go. It was a huge-mungous salad. And I drank most of the raspberry iced tea in a few gulps. Quite impressive for me. Anyway we ran back since my salad shenanigans made us a bit late. Luckily we were already mostly packed.

They saw us off at the station. Our bus driver had a mullet and was waving his hands strangely. The bus pulled away and we saw ben still standing around(In a shirt that looks suspiciously like one of mine...) and then running after our bus as we drove past the questioning restaurant and nearly up to the point that we entered the freeway.

But he couldn't chase us forever. And so we prepared for the long ride home.

-- G 'Bye, Sonya --

. ( 4.4.04 ) .